Destroying Myself
by rent-serenity
Summary: Tom Riddle falls into an all consuming darkness. During his seventh year, he uncovers a spell to see his future, and instead of his mind being thrown into the future, Tom is thrown into another time: mind, body, and soul. Tom:G H:D ships.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Everything I have worked towards, everything I have been dreaming of, is about to come true. Finally, after two years of incessant, unabashed obsession, I have finally created the spell. I will prove to everyone that I am important; I will prove to _him_ that I am not a useless bastard.

All this happens tomorrow evening, Halloween; of course, it has to be Halloween: the most magical day of the wizarding world; when the sun has set and the moon is high in the sky, I will do the spell.

I won't be able to concentrate in classes today; I won't be able to sleep tonight, because it's happening tomorrow. Tomorrow I travel through time and space, and I will witness what no one has ever seen before, my own future.

"Tom," someone calls my name.

I look up and realize that I am in Ancient Runes and Professor Harland is talking to me. I have no idea what he asked; in fact, I couldn't care less.

"Yes, Professor?" I say, focusing my attention.

"I asked you to pay attention, Mr. Riddle," Professor Harland says.

He's short, balding, and wears huge glasses that magnify his eyes.

"Right," I say, and pretend to pay attention.

He goes back to teaching, and my thoughts trail off again.

Dumbledore has been watching me like a bloody hawk, day after day; he does not trust me, and like a fool, he sticks his nose into my business. Dumbledore, unlike anyone else, dislikes me, and I know why: he's afraid of me.

That's a laughable statement. The only people who should fear me are the ones that get in my way, the ones that ruin my plans. All Dumbledore has done so far is stand back and watch me idly from the sidelines.

Someone taps my shoulder, and I look over to see a pretty little blonde girl, all bright eyes and cherry lipstick.

"Tom," she says.

I realize everyone is packing up and leaving; the class is over.

"Yeah?" I say. I cannot remember her name, but I'm pretty sure she's the one who's been bugging me to go to a dance with her for the past year.

"Are you going to the Halloween dance tomorrow night?" she asks, her eyes pleading.

"No," I say. "I'm busy."

"You're always busy," she coos. "Take a night off."

"Can't," I say.

I stand up and start to leave.

"Do you even remember my name?" the girl asks.

I pause and turn to face her.

"Does it start with an m?" I ask, deciding to play her games.

She looks hurt, but I really don't have time for this.

She shakes her head, "It's Brandy."

"Well, Brandy," I say, and there is a chilling tone to my voice. "Maybe some other time, yeah?"

I do walk away this time, before she can say anything else to me. I don't have time for dates, no time for social plans; I had to find out about the real me, the me that was all powerful.

Nothing, not even Dumbledore was going to stop me tomorrow evening.


	2. Fifteen More Hours

**Chapter One**

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It's five o'clock on Halloween morning, and I'm wide awake; my eyes staring, blood-shot, unblinking at the ceiling. Patience is not my thing, and anticipation is the worst feeling in the world.

I start the spell tonight at eight. That's fifteen hours from now. I hear my roommate Cal's snore, he is incredibly loud, and any other morning I'd toss him out of bed; but today, I don't care, because I'm not sleeping anyway.

Cal was once my best friend, this is, before I realized how different our priorities were. Why my thoughts drift to this, I'm not quite sure, probably because this spell - I call it **Aspici Spell - **is the thing that sparked our hatred.

When you stop caring about someone, they usually stop caring about you. Well, that's my experience.

I grab one of my pillows and press it to my face, closing my eyes; even if I can't get any sleep, doesn't mean I can't try.

5:07 and I throw off the pillow, and pull open the curtains with a yank. Cal startles and stares at me through the gap in his curtains.

"Tom?" he says, sleepily. "Go back to sleep."

"You go back to sleep," I hiss. He does.

I roll my eyes and quickly get dressed, plain black robes, nothing special because today, I have no one to impress.

I head down to breakfast, but of course, that's not up yet. There are a few teachers decorating the hall however, including Dumbledore, who has just glanced at me.

I look away, trying for a quick escape, but I'm not quick enough and Dumbledore is talking to me.

"Good morning, Tom," he says.

"Morning, Professor," I say. "How are you this morning?"

Yes, I'm pretending to care, and yes I find it disgusting, but charming is my middle name.

"I'm quite fine," Dumbledore says, eyeing me, he's not buying anything I say, like always. "Couldn't sleep again?"

I shrug, "It happens. Need help, Sir?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "Oh no, I think we're about finished here."

"Alright," I say.

"Have a seat," Dumbledore says. "Breakfast will be up in a few."

Dumbledore moves away, placing up another glowing pumpkin. I look towards the Slytherin table, I had wanted to sit there, but now that Dumbledore has told me to sit, I just can't bring myself to.

I turn and leave the room; after all, I have things I can be reviewing for tonight, though it won't take me very long.

I pass by portraits, most of which are sleeping still. I hear the laugh of two first year boys, heading my way. I see that it is two Slytherin's, a black-haired, rich boy named Darwin and a tall lanky boy named Warren; they're interesting enough, and they look up to me.

"Tom," Darwin greets me.

"What's up?" Warren asks.

"Hey," I say. "Nothing."

"Where you headed?" Darwin asks.

The trouble with Darwin is he always likes to get your business.

"Around," I say, blowing him off.

They don't take it offensively, and I keep going down the hall; after all, we're Slytherin's and our business is our own business.

I sneak into my bathroom – really it's not mine, it's just a girls bathroom that has been out of order ever since my fifth year; actually I'm the one that caused it to become out of order, though no one else but Dumbledore even has a clue. After that little incident with the basilisk, I discovered something about myself, and I needed to know more, that's why I set out to find the Aspici spell.

In the bathroom is a girl, actually a ghost of a girl, named Myrtle. She doesn't know I'm the one that killed her, she trusts me entirely, as I said before, charm can do wonders.

"Hello, Tom," she says gloomily to me.

"Myrtle," I say in greeting.

Myrtle watches me carefully as I search for a set of books I have hidden.

I think she likes my company, truth be told, her gloomy company is usually more tolerable then most of the other students around here; but I still cannot stand her incessant questions on what I've been up to.

I've been in this bathroom studying with her watching over me for the past year and a half at least, and well, I've gotten used to her.

"Are you going to tell me what you're up to yet?" she asks.

She has asked me this everyday since I began my little project; but for the first time I actually pause to tell her, after all confiding in someone might put my fears at ease. Yeah, I said fears, fear that I might have screwed it up somehow and destroyed myself in the process.

"You really want to know?" I ask, giving her an annoyed look.

She looks at me wide-eyed; Myrtle is actually a very bright witch, though she is very gloomy even more so ever since she became a ghost.

"It's happening tonight, isn't it?" Myrtle says.

"Well aren't you bright?" I say, turning back to my books.

Myrtle pouts but I eagerly start reading again.

I grin, not looking up from my books., "You still want to know what I'm doing?"

"You won't tell me," Myrtle says, sitting on a counter, watching me closely.

I look up at her, "I've discovered a spell to show me my future. I'm going to see my role in our future."

"What if you find out you're a failure?" Myrtle asks.

"Won't happen," I say. "There's no way."

"If you say so," she says glumly. "Are you leaving me after tonight then?"

The funny thing is, I don't regret killing her; that thought just struck me. It's slightly chilling, but so completely true; everything with that Basilisk had gone exactly as I had planned, well until Dumbledore caught on. Now the only repercussions – which for me are not repercussions because I do not regret what I have done - destroying Mudblood's is a noble line of work. Well, anyway. the repercussions I had to deal with after it was all said and done, was the loss of a boy who I particularly hated, and a gain of a place all to myself.

"Yes," I say.

It's the truth, because really, I can't continue to come back here; Myrtle is nothing but a lost soul to me now.

Myrtle is sobbing, but she's not doing it loudly.

I don't feel bad, but I don't really want to see her crying.

"I should leave," I say, I turn back around before I go. "By the way, Myrtle, I owe you for letting me use you're bathroom."

Sarcasm is also a thrilling game to play.

"It's not _my_ bathroom," she says, looking down.

"Oh sure it is," I say, and leave out the bathroom door.

I check the time; it's only 7:00am.

If a day could go any slower then one second at a time then today was that day. I joined in on conversations with people who had never spoken to me before. I took off my watch and put it in my room; which only made me go upstairs every five minutes to check the time, but it still occupied the slow moving time.

Noon came and slowly went; and at one I was sitting in the hall eating lunch, when Brandy sat next to me.

"Hey Riddle," she said, using my last name probably because she was mad at me.

"Brandy," I greeted.

Even if I didn't really want to talk to her conversation seemed to make the time pass by more quickly.

"Are you sure you're too busy to go to the dance tonight?"

"Beyond sure," I say.

"Why won't you go with me!" Brandy asked me in a hiss. "What about me don't you like? I'm a Slytherin, I'm a pure-blood, I'm gorgeous! What else do you want?"

I laughed. To add to her list I'd say she's also persistent, self-confident and straight-foreword. Too cocky for her own good.

"I want you to stay and talk to me," I say, flashing her a smile.

"What?" she asks. I've confused the poor girl.

"I can't go to the dance with you, but I want you to talk with me," I say. Hell, I am using her – not the way most Slytherin's would use a girl who was practically all over them, but using her nonetheless.

She pauses, thinking on my words and then says, "Alright. I'll talk with you."

We talk until three. A great conversationalist that one - actually I get bored ten minutes in, but that's the price I pay for pretending to be interested.

I tell her I have to go and she lets me go without much of a fuss, mostly because I think I was being a bit too dark for her.

I take a walk out by the lake, and watch the giant squid's tentacles come out of the water every once in a while.

Five o'clock. I just have to survive three more hours of this crazed feeling of anticipation.

I see I the Headmaster, Professor Dippet, and I purposefully let myself be seen by him, he wants to talk to me about something. He talks to me about my recent loss of interest in my Head Boy duties; I tell him I'm sorry, and that I've just been distracted lately.

"Don't worry, Professor Dippet," I say. "I'll get my act together."

More bullshit coming out of my mouth and he eats it up.

He tells me to run along and I do. Six o'clock. I try to read but my attention span isn't that great at the moment.

Somehow the clock's hands reach the seven thirty mark, and I start heading as slowly as I can to the room of requirement – it's a room that possesses pretty much anything you require, thus the name.

I pass by Dumbledore on my way, he's too far away to talk to me, but that doesn't stop him from watching me go.

When I enter the room it's dark, and there is a clear view of the night sky from the open roof. The walls are solid black and reflect nothing, and in the center of the room there is a white circle with a moon and star drawn in gold on either side.

This is the basic set up for my spell, when the moon hits exactly over the center of the circle then my spell will be complete. All I have to do is say a few words a few seconds before eight o'clock.

I glance at the time, 7:50.

I pull out my wand and mutter, _"Lumos." _I find my notes on the ground and pick them up, reviewing the spell I will be saying in a few minutes.

7:57, I'm counting 1...2...counting up till 60, and I start again. Finally 7:59.

I step into the circle, and I began to recite the spell; I say it flawlessly, pronouncing everything exactly. At eight sharp, I've finished the spell, I look up and the moon is directly above me.

For a moment, I think something's gone wrong because nothing happens, and then a moment later a bright blinding blue flash blurs my vision, and I feel lifeless. I feel like I'm soaring, but all I can see is blinding blue - then nothing but a black tunnel, and all sound is lost.

I'm headed towards the tunnel, and I don't try to retreat. I hit into the tunnel – my eyes haven't shut once – there's a brilliant flash of multiple colors, my feet touch the ground, and the blue blur comes back; I can't see anything, but as my hearing slowly returns I hear a muffled voice, an oddly familiar voice...

_**Other References:**_

"**_I'm counting 1…2…"_ – Is from the book Lullaby, by Chuck Palahniuk.**


	3. Gone Wrong

**Chapter Two**

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Things are very wrong. I can feel the cool air of the hallway, I can smell the musty dust ridden castle - this isn't right. I'm supposed to be watching everything that will happen to me, I'm supposed to travel through time in a wisp of smoke, unnoticed by all; but I'm not; I'm here in the flesh, and someone is talking to me. When you travel as a Seer you travel as a spirit, a physical entity; but I'm flesh, blood, mind, body and soul, all right here, standing where I'd assume the Room of Requirement used to be in my time at Hogwarts.

I can't tell what I look like, but I know my clothing is the same; and I know there is an older woman, shockingly pale who is leaning against a wall looking as if I'm the bloody grim reaper here to collect her soul. Her hand is covering her mouth, but that doesn't stop me from recognizing her as the woman Dumbledore has around his office as a trainee. I think it's Dumbledore's girlfriend, fifty years older.

She hasn't moved since she's first caught sight of me, she hasn't made a sound, maybe she died of a heart attack and I just don't know it. But her eyes are on me, a splash of fear I've never seen the likes of before.

I try to remember her name, but everything is a bit much. I'm really not supposed to be here!

She finally lets out a shaky gasp that is so alike her expression that I even become a little afraid; she's coming to her senses, I can tell because she's rummaging through her robes to find her wand, but she's fumbling awful badly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I say. I say this to calm the pitiful looking woman, but she ignores me as she drops her wand.

I step on it as it rolls towards me, and she looks from her wand up to me, eyes full of horror.

"How did you get in here?" she asks, her voice quivering, but she's started to get a hold of herself.

I'm not quite sure how to answer her, so I don't.

"What year is this?" I ask.

Her mouth falls open a little, staring at me hard, "You can't be- Can't be _him_."

"Tom Riddle?" I ask in a low voice. She recognizes me, but from where? Surely not just Dumbledore's classes.

She slowly nods, "Riddle? "

"I am," I say. "Now could you tell me what year it is?"

She thinks she's helpless, because I have a wand out from the spell, and her wand is under my foot. I'm really not certain why she's afraid of me, but if that's the only way I'd get answers, then I'd go with it.

"How...are you here?"

"Listen, lady," I say fed up with her confusion at my being here. I'm more confused then she is - well by look on her face, maybe not. "I just want to know what year it is."

"19...1998…" She says slowly.

!998, and my year is 1945. I'm a long way from home I guess, fifty-three years away. 'How am I here?' that's actually a question I'm really started to wonder about.

Maybe Dumbledore knows, maybe he's stuck around in Hogwarts for the past fifty-three years, he would, it would be so like him. But did I really want to rush off to Dumbledore? I hated him, I didn't want him to know what sort of mess I had gotten myself into, because the truth is, I have no idea how to get home, I never thought of this happening.

If I swallow my pride what would happen if Dumbledore saw me? Would his reaction be quite like this woman's?

I screw pride, mostly because I want to know what's going on here, and Dumbledore always knows, because he can't keep his nose out of anything.

"Can you tell me where I can find Professor Dumbledore?" I ask her.

If I thought she looked frightened before this was nothing to the horror and now, confusion that filled her face this time.

I give her an annoyed look, and she mutters, "Al-Albus i-is dead..."

Dead? That's a shocker, but the real thing that shocks me the most is how she said this, as if _I_ was the one who caused his death.

"Dead," I say simply, watching for her reaction.

She winces.

"Well, if he can't tell me what's going on here, then maybe you can," I say to her.

She looks at me, sternly, "May I have my wand back?"

There's a squeak in her voice, because she's still afraid, but I think she's come to figure out that I don't know why she's afraid of me.

I look at her blank faced, she's under my power, all I have to do is use that. I scoop up the wand, and twirl it in my had for a moment, and then turn my eyes towards her.

"What happened to Dumbledore?" I ask coolly.

She doesn't answer right away, and I'm just about to tap my wand, to remind her who's in charge, but I hear footsteps coming, and as I glance over she catches me off guard, in one bold movement, she snatches her wand from me and yells, "Stupify!"

Black. Still. Nothingness.

I wake up, the room is fuzzy, and when things start to come in I realize I'm on a couch, in a house. My confusion is only matched by my anger when I realize I can't move.

Not only do I have my hands, legs and feet all tied up in silvery looking rope, but I also have the full body bind curse upon me, a silencing spell, and a dozen other spells around me that I can sense but can't identify.

I forced to stare directly at a empty fireplace, and I'm laying on my side, it's really rather uncomfortable.

I hear voices behind me, I can make out that there is a mob of people, I can't count how many because they're voices run together, and all of them are talking as if panicked.

"Harry, what's your call?" I hear a man ask someone.

"Get a Veritaserum," Harry says in the distance.

My guess is he's using that potion on me to get me to tell him what I know; of course to his disappointment I won't be able to explain what he thinks I'll be able to. Oh well, that's not my problem; what is, is getting out of this place, out of this time, well, after I find out what happened to me of course. I didn't travel all this way for nothing.

Two guys, one older with brown hair and shabby robes and the other about my age, black hair and glasses over green eyes, pull up chairs and sit in front of me.

The older guy removes my silencing charm.

"What's the big idea?" I ask, they think I'm playing dumb – but really I'm not.

"Open your mouth," the boy says to me; he looks at me with a look of pure disgust and hatred.

I do as he says as I see the Veritaserum in his hand, he opens the bottle and dumps a few drops into my mouth, I swallow it.

"Riddle?" the boy asks me.

"Yes," I say by force, though I would have told him anyway.

"Do you know who I am?" he asks eyeing me.

"I really don't know who you are," I say. "You don't even look remotely familiar, but then again you were born after my time."

He turns to the older man, giving him a confused look.

"Is this stuff any good?" he asks.

"The best," the older man frowns. "He's telling the truth."

"Blimey," the guy whispers. "How did you get into Hogwarts?"

"Traveled through time," I say. "I've been working since my fifth year to discover a way to travel through time. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this, I wasn't supposed to actually go through time, I was just supposed to see it."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see what became of me," I say. "In my future."

_Duh. _

"I've been curious ever since I uncovered the secret of the Chamber of Secrets; when I learned of what I was capable of being."

The two stare at me dumbfounded as if I'm some test subject that's turned blue when I'm supposed to turn green.

"What year are you from?" the other guy asks.

"1945, I'm a seventh year at Hogwarts School," I say. "I did my spell in the room of requirement, that's why I was in the castle."

"Is that the only reason you traveled through the future?" glasses guy asks.

"Yes," I say. "I just wanted to see myself. I didn't plan on actually interacting with my future; I was going to be a passerby as I traveled as a Seer."

This truth serum, though strong at first, was beginning to wearing off now.

"Will you undo these spells now?" I ask. "It's awful uncomfortable."

The older man gives a heavy laugh, saying "Uncomfortable."

The older man walks away, going to talk to the people in the background.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I'm Harry Potter," he says.

If this was supposed to register anything in my mind, it didn't – but that was how Harry was looking at me.

"Well, Harry," I say. "Could you please at least the body bind?"

Harry just stares at me; his green eyes are still full of seething hatred.

Clearly, whatever I have done has warranted me a few enemies over the years.

"I don't think so, Tom," he says.

"Why?" I ask.

He looks at me like I'm mad.

"Bloody hell!" he runs a hand through his hair. "I don't trust you is why."

"You put a bloody truth potion on me, what else do you want?" I ask.

"I don't trust your word," he says. "I know what you're capable of."

"I know what I'm capable of too! And believe me; I'm not going to go around cursing anyone here or anything."

The look he gives me tells me he really doubts this.

"I just want to find out about me, and then I want to go home," I say. "That's it, I swear."

"Why do you want to find out about you?" Harry asks.

"Because I want to know I've become something powerful, someone memorable."

"Oh," Harry says bluntly. "You are."

What did that mean? – I had to know, I had to get him to untie me.

"Listen, I don't know what I've done to you, or what I've done at all for that matter," I say. "So either explain it to me or let me go, because I don't have anything more I can tell you."

"Shut up," he hisses at me.

He infuriates me, mostly because he reminds me of me.

Harry turns to shout to someone, "Oiy, Malfoy!"

---

_**Author's Message:**_

_**Please R&R, and thanks for reading, and thanks to all those who have reviewed. **_


	4. Who's Ginny?

**Chapter Three**

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When Harry calls for Malfoy, I hear a grumble from across the room, and someone trudging over.

He's another boy my age, blonde hair, gray eyes, who looks rich yet worn out. He stands next to Harry, but he's staring at me.

"This is Riddle?" he asks, his tone cold. "He doesn't look anything like him."

"It is him," Harry says in a low voice.

"Well, Potter, what do you want?" Malfoy asks, turning away from me.

"I need you to go to the Burrow," Harry says.

"I'm not allowed to leave your house!" Malfoy snaps. "Thanks to you and your bloody rules."

"I said you weren't allowed to go to the Leaky Cauldron, people are still looking for you; and as long as you're on our side we don't want you to be shipped off to Azkaban," Harry glowers.

Why would this boy be shipped off to Azkaban? What had he done?

"You don't care what happens to me! You just want to keep an eye on me," Malfoy hisses.

"Good point," Harry says. "I still don't trust you or Snape, but if McGonagall says you're cool, then I'll trust her, for now."

"Well aren't I lucky?" Malfoy rolls his eyes. "I get to be Potter's service boy."

"Yes, now go. Get the family, and leave someone with Ginny," Harry says glancing at me wearily. "She can't come, okay, Malfoy?"

"Whatever," Malfoy mutters, and takes off out of my sight.

"Why can't Ginny come?" I ask, wondering who Ginny is.

"Because of you," he says, solemnly. "Because of what you did to her."

He leaves me before I can ask what this means, and I'm left by myself, stuck on my side, my right hip beginning to ache.

I'm laying here, for one hour...no two hours. And no one has come by to say anything else to me; but they're all still talking at once.

Maybe this was a bad idea, throwing myself into the future – but then again, I didn't exactly plan for this to happen. I hear footsteps approach, but they get diverted and fade away.

I sigh, and bellow out, "Hello? Harry? Anyone? I'm still tied up here you know."

There is no answer, but everyone hushes for a moment as I speak but then their voices carry again, louder then before.

I give up. I guess I'm just stuck here, defenseless, hopeless, and confused.

There is a knock at the door, short and fast, quite spunky actually. I hear the door open and a moment of silence.

Then, "Malfoy you ass! I told you to leave her behind!"

"Did you, Potter?" Malfoy sneers. "Because I could have sworn you said to make sure and bring her."

"Harry," a girls voice says. "What is going on?"

"Ginny, stay out of the-"

Before he can finish, she's already seen whatever she's supposed to stay out of – I'm assuming it's me – she comes into view, and the look on her face is simply, horrified, shock, indignation, and almost insecurity.

She has trouble find balance for herself, and leans up against the wall, hitting it with a loud _thump._ Harry rushes over to her, whispering that things are going to be all right. That I cannot hurt her now.

Ginny is still staring at me horrified; the look is bone chilling.

While everyone is taking this moment to help Ginny, I look at her more intently. She's very gorgeous, flaming red hair, piercing captivating eyes that right now look full of pain, and a series of freckles along her nose and cheeks. She's stunning, even though she looks so afraid.

What had _I _done to make her get like this at the sight of me?

"He's from the past," Harry tells her. "He doesn't have a clue what he's done. It's going to be alright, Ginny."

Here's Harry talking to Ginny on behalf of me, when I've never wanted so much to assure someone that I'm not dangerous – Actually I've never wanted to assure someone I'm not dangerous.

Here's a revelation moment, I think I like her. But I don't know her, for some reason this doesn't detour me, I just want her to stop looking at me with that expression.

"Ginny," I start to say.

"Don't you dare speak with her!" Harry hisses fiercely.

I stop, and try to send this same message through my eyes, but that's not working because she's now buried herself into Harry's shoulder.

"Come on," Harry says, leading her away. "Malfoy, bring him into my room."

Malfoy grumbles, but comes over to me, and I see in the corner of my eyes, three other red-heads, staring at me.

Malfoy mutters the mobilicorpus spell on me, a spell that causes me to float as if I'm on an invisible stretcher. All I can see is the ceiling as he takes me into a room, and lays me on Harry's bed.

"Now don't move," Malfoy says sarcastically, and chuckles at his own joke.

"Yeah," I say, "Really hilarious."

He's shuts the door, leaving me all alone and the only good news to all of this is: my hip doesn't hurt anymore.

I open my eyes, everything is blurry. I must have fallen asleep somehow; well I guess forty-eight hours with no sleep, traveling through time, and getting knocked out, gets to you after a while.

I'm sitting up, but this isn't my doing, someone must have repositioned me in my sleep. My hands and legs are still tied up, and there's still a body bind on me.

Harry, Malfoy and a redheaded boy are staring at me.

"Tom," Harry says to me. His voice is stern, unwavering, commanding.

"Yeah?" I yawn.

"Do you know how to get back to your time?" Harry asks.

I shake my head, "No."

If I knew, I would have left a while ago.

"Told you," Malfoy hisses. "What are you going to do with him then? If you're not allowed to kill him?"

My heart skips a beat as I try to register the words he said; I'm fairly certain I had to of heard wrong.

"We send him back to his time," Harry glowers. "We don't want him here."

Well, I don't want to be here, but that's not going to help the situation any.

"Too right, mate," the redhead says glaring at me.

"You _could_ kill him," Malfoy says, glancing at me.

Nope, I heard right, he said kill me. Well, I believe I'm going to have a major problem with that – not that I have much say in anything currently.

"I'm not going to kill him," Harry hisses. "McGonagall said that with him in this time period that the balances of the universe are already off; if we were to kill him we could send this world into it's own destruction."

"Whatever," Malfoy says, shrugging. "Do what you want, Potter. It's your funeral."

"Excuse me," I speak up. "But what exactly is going on? What do you mean, kill me?"

"He's mental," Ron says aloud, staring at me.

"He doesn't know what he's done," Harry says.

"Why don't you explain it to me?" I ask. "Please?"

The old polite scheme, which only works on these kinds of people.

Malfoy lets out a cough and laughs.

Well, it works on people like Headmaster Dippet, like Brandy, like Harry; but not on people like Malfoy.

Harry looks at Malfoy, "What harm is it going to do?"

"Whatever, Potter," Malfoy says. "You can tell him whatever you want. If it were me though, I'd just send him home."

Malfoy leaves the room.

The redhead frowns as the door shuts.

"I hate that jerk," he says.

Harry nods, but he's taking Malfoy's words to heart. I wish he wouldn't, but that's how it is.

"We're going to send you home," Harry says to me.

"By all means, go ahead," I say.

"Harry, how are we going to do that?" the redhead asks. "We don't know how to travel through time."

"No," Harry says, eyeing me. "But I'm sure he can help us figure it out."

I nod, "I'll do whatever. Can you take this spell off of me?"

Harry hesitates. Seriously, I am wondering how much longer it's going to take for me to get him to trust me.

"I'll stay in here if you want," I say. "You can lock the door, whatever."

I just want to be able to move again.

Harry eyes his friend, "Ron?"

"I dunno mate," Ron says, looking at me suspiciously. "I don't see what harm he can do if he really doesn't know what's going on...But then again..."

"He's dangerous," Harry says, finishing Ron's sentence.

"I'm not," I say.

_Well, I definitely am, but not if they were going to get me home. _

"I'll talk to Lupin about it," Harry says. "Ron, could you go get Hermione for me?"

Ron frowns and looks away, "Well...erm..."

"Are you two fighting again?" Harry asks, rolling his eyes.

"Yes." Ron sighs.

"What did you forget to do this time?" Harry asks.

"Erm...our six month anniversary," Ron grumbles.

Pointless dates, girls nagging, blurring your perception of life – People in general want to control you.

"Nice going, Ron," Harry says sympathetically.

"You know I'm no good at remembering dates," Ron says.

"Well, bring her flowers and make up," Harry says. "This is important."

"Alright, I'll try," Ron says. "This boyfriend business is just difficult."

Harry turns to me, "I'll talk to Lupin about undoing the spell and ties, but don't get your hopes up."

I grumble under my breath when they shut the door. I hate this, I hate them for being so bleeding suspicious and I hate myself for getting into this trouble.


	5. Sneaking Out

_**Author's Message:**_

Please note that **I have gone back and edited** **the past chapters** to fix up Tom's character a bit.

The specific things I changed were:

Tom's interaction with Myrtle.

Tom's interaction with McGonagall

Harry's initial interrogation of Tom.

Ginny's reaction to seeing Tom.

And the reason why Harry can't kill Tom. (Because it makes more sense.)

**If you don't go back and read these, you might get a little confused with the rest of the story line. **I edited to improve Tom's evil nature, because he wasn't coming off evil enough for me. Well, thanks everyone who has been reading. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Chapter Four**

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The good news is, Lupin allowed Harry to take the spell and ropes off me; the bad news is, Harry took my words of locking me in his bloody room seriously. So I'm stuck here until he feels so inclined to get me out.

What scares me the most about all of this is that my thoughts are not on escape, not on getting home. Their on that girl, Ginny, the one who keeps flashing in my mind.

What's wrong with this picture is that, I'm sensible, I'm intelligent. I _do not_ get mixed up in girls, because they mean trouble. The kind of trouble where you're forced to give up your hopes, your dreams, your life, basically, so that you'll make her happy.

I can't do that, but I can't get Ginny out of my head. The way she holds herself. That confident stare.

I'm thinking about her so much that I'm actually considering breaking out of this room and risking myself to be put in the full body bind again to go find her. Breaking out of this room...The thought sounds extremely risky, but well worth it, if I can just get a few words in with her.

I put my ear to the door, I hear no one; I glance out the window, no one is there either. I ponder the door or the window. Which would be the easiest to escape from? I decide the door.

I try to open it, just in case, but it's locked tight. I'm not worried yet though, because there's always more then one way to opened a spelled door.

I find exactly what I'm looking for in a trunk at the end of Harry's bed – which I had to pick open with a safety pin mind you. I pull out from the trunk an old sneakascope wrapped in an old sock. I pull it out, and it is humming like mad so I stuff it back into the sock, it'll work – really I just need any small magical object, particularly a powerful one, and this would have to do.

I've been practicing wandless spells as long as I can remember - though they're not exactly "spells" per say, just really concentrated magical thoughts. If I want something enough, I can get it just by pursuing that thought for all it's worth.

That's what I do now; using the sneakascope to direct my energy to the spell on the door. I hear a _crack_, and the spell is off. I smile to myself as I open the door, stepping out into a small hallway.

I could take off now, leave and not return. But with my thoughts on this girl, I just can't do that yet, plus I think they can actually help me return home – what a bonus. Bullshit in my own head.

I swiftly make my way along the house, approaching a nearby door. I slowly turn the handle and peek inside. And I see her. She's got her back on the wall, curled up reading a book. I slide in and shut the door softly, I don't want to frighten her, so somehow I have to make my presence known quietly and innocently.

I watch her for a moment, and then I say softly, "Excuse me."

She looks up, and giving a startling squeak and drops her book.

"I just came here to apologize," I say, not sure exactly what I'm apologizing for. "I don't mean to frighten you."

_I don't even know what I've done to you._

"Get out," she hisses under her breath.

She looks a lot more in control of herself then she did earlier. Her eyes are strong and determined...and hateful.

"No," I say, as I fold my arms across my chest.

She looks at me surprised, and slowly slides her legs out to stand up.

"Does Harry know you're in here?" she asks, never taking her eyes off me.

"Does it matter?" I ask.

Her hair moves off her shoulders as she stands.

Her eyes falter because she's thinking so much. I watch her glance from the door to me; she's probably wondering what she should do about me.

"What are you reading?" I ask, glancing at her book.

She quickly slides the book from my view and shrugs.

"Nothing," Ginny says carefully.

I chuckle mostly for her benefit. She's tense, and I want to shake her loose, tell her I'm not planning on harming her.

"So, you're a witch?" I ask, noticing that her wand is poking out from behind her ear.

I pretty much already assume this, but it will keep her talking.

She nods, "I am. Harry says you traveled through time to find out about your future self."

I nod, not sure what sort of statement this is.

"What do you think so far?" she asks, eyes searching.

"No one will tell me anything," I say.

"Then why'd you apologize?" she narrows her eyes.

She's found me out.

_Shit._

What am I supposed to say now?

"I-"

"Let me guess, you don't know?" she interrupts my lie.

I stare at her blank faced.

Ginny's pale, but her eyes so strong but frightened. that I'm not sure what's going on. I'm fairly good at reading people, so looking at Ginny I can tell she's pretty confident of herself – so why does she look so frazzled with me around?

"Leave me alone," she says.

What if I don't want to?

I don't move, and she stares at me. I don't move and she angrily stalks past me, and opens the door, but she's opened it for me.

"Go," she insists.

I move towards the door, and stand in front of her, sliding my hand along the door, shutting it. I'm so near her I can smell her vanilla perfume mixed with rosemary, jasmine and sandalwood incense.

She backs away, looking up almost horrified.

She's too strong to beg me to leave, but her eyes are silently pleading, but I can't do that – I'm enjoying this far to much. Her calculating eyes carefully document every little movement I make.

I take a step foreword, she takes a step back.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I say softly.

"You've told me that before," she says.

"And did I?" I ask, hoping the answer is no.

"Yes," she says, her voice steady.

I freeze in my tracks and tilt my head.

"In my first year," she says. "You almost killed me."

I can see her face flashed with memories of that year. But it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

"Your diary," she says.

This is when everything clicks in my head. The jigsaw comes together, and all the pieces fit. That diary I had created in my fifth year, preserving myself to lead someone else in my work. And if Ginny knew about my diary then that must have meant it was her – her who had been continuing my work. By the look on her face, she wasn't happy about that at all.

I look away from her for the first time, deep in thought. The diary was meant to destroy the user when the time had come – but Ginny was still here alive, so what had happened?

"My diary," I whisper. "What became of it?"

"It was destroyed," she says.

I turn back to her.

My hard work lost, was it worth her? Something nagging at me says yes, but I don't care to listen.

There's a soft knock on the door and both Ginny and I glance at it. Me in fear, because I'm trapped no matter what.

"Ginny?" it's Harry.

She glances at me, "Come in."

I watch, bracing myself for Harry to see me. Not much I can do about it now.

The door slowly opens, and when I come into view, his face turns from sincerity to hatred in seconds flat, his eyes dart from me to Ginny; and I realize just how close I had moved towards her and how she was almost backed up against the wall.

He whips out his wand and points it at me, "How did you get in here?"

"Used the door, and my legs," I say straight faced.

He looks at me like I've insulted his mother.

"You couldn't just _use the door! _It was spelled!" he seethes. "How did you break out?"

"It's simple really," I say. "I just directed a counter curse through a sneakascope you had."

Harry blinks at me a couple of time, "Why did you come in here?"

I glance at Ginny and back to Harry, "Well, you see Harry; I got turned around and ended up on the wrong end of the house."

Harry rolls his eyes at me, then turns to Ginny, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she says, glancing at me.

"Well," Harry says giving me a glare. "I'll talk to you later, Ginny. Come on, Tom, you have to meet someone; she's going to send you back home, where you belong."

He says the last bit in an icy tone; then he opens the door for me to step out first, and he leads me back into the living room at wand point.

After that encounter with Ginny, I don't think I'll ever be the same again – I almost was the cause of her death, that's a cryptic notion. She's blown me away, and I will get her to fall for me no matter what I have to do. Because I know I cannot be without her now that I've met her.

There's something distastefully wrong with me – I can't believe I'm being like this. What has gotten into me?

**_Author's Note:_**

Again, if you missed the announcement at the beginning notes here it is again:**I have gone back and edited** **the past chapters** to fix up Tom's character a bit (more info at the top of this page on what I changed).

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing and I hope you're all happy with the changes I made.


	6. The Third Horcrux

**Chapter Five**

Hermione Granger – if I say I wish her dead, will she vanish? She's a Mudblood, a brainy Witchy now-it-all Mudblood and she's giving me orders! No Mudblood is going to give _me _orders!

"You'll do as she says," Harry hisses to me in a very low voice.

I give him a glare of death but he turns to Hermione, completely ignoring me.

"Hermione, take him to the Flourish and Bolts, and feel free to curse him if he tries to do anything funny."

_Oh, I'll show her funny._

"What are you doing, Harry?" Hermione asks. Her voice is irritating.

"I have to speak with Malfoy." Harry let out a deep sigh, his face full of troubles. "I'll join you in a bit."

"Alright." Hermione nodded. "I'll apparate him."

Harry nods to her, and then looking distracted down the hallway he gets up and leaves.

"Well, come on," she says to me, giving me a look of distrust.

I obey reluctantly and silently, watching her stand up to find her wand in her robes.

"Ron," Hermione says, as she takes my arm.

I stare at her hand touching my robes and I wish to wrench away my hand, to curse her.

"Yeah," Ron says quickly.

"I could use your help on this." She looks passed him as she asks this.

"Oh, right," Ron says to her carefully. "I'll meet you in Diagon Alley."

Hermione nods and in a light pull around my navel we apparate.

We land in the place I know so well as Diagon Alley, outside of the great Wizarding bank – but not a lot has changed. A few new stores, new people, but the basic set-up is still the same. I don't really know what I was expecting.

"This way," Hermione says, pointing down a road where the bookshop is located. "Ron will meet us there."

She lets me lead the way like Harry had done, and she's careful to watch my every glance as if I'd disappear if she looked away for even a moment.

We enter the bright but eerily silent bookstore, Flourish and Bolts. There's just the store clerk and one other customer inside, and immediately the clerk comes over to us.

"Anything I can help you look for?" the Clerk asks.

"Could you tell me where the Time Travel section is," Hermione asks. I watch her slider her wand a little into her sleeve so that the clerk wouldn't get suspicious.

The clerk nods and leads us over to a selection of books.

"Here you are," the Clerk says, and leaves us.

"So, what sort of spell did you do?" Hermione asks as she runs a hand down the book titles.

"I created it," I say proudly. "It's sort of a Seer spell."

Hermione doesn't flash me a surprised look when I tell her I created it, she just furrows her brow as she continues to search titles.

"Here," she says pulling down a few books. "We'll start with these."

The door to the shop opens and we both look up to see her little red-haired boyfriend coming over.

"Sit in one of those chairs," she says to me.

A rush of loathing and she does a double take as I don't bother to hide it.

"We need to get you home," Hermione says to me in a busy voice. "So go look it up, you know more of what were looking for then I do, so I'll ask you a few questions in a moment."

I pass closely by her, pretending I didn't hear - a statement to tell her who is in charge. Or maybe more me wanting to be in charge.

I sit in a chair and flip open a book, but I'm not bothering to read it right now. I'm looking for an opportunity.

Hermione approaches Ron and they speak in low voices, clearly trying to work through their fight.

They're getting pretty deep into the argument, but every shifting movement I make Hermione's eyes glance over me for the briefest second.

Ron runs a hand through his hair and then points to me, though I can't hear what he says.

"I am watching him!" Hermione says. "I'm no completely incompetent Ron! I at least can remember a few simple things."

The Clerk glances at them, as they are clearly disturbing the peace.

Hermione drops her voice, and hisses to Ron, "At least you can admit that you forgot and apologize, Ron!"

"I am sorry!" Ron yells.

"Shh," Hermione shushes him.

A stickler for the rules, a bitch in her own right – if I were Ron I'd have dumped her already. I'd have cursed her as quickly as possible too.

Now's my chance, because I've made it off the chair and she still hasn't looked at me. I quickly jump up and turn to move away from this area but I've come face to face with Harry.

_Shit._

"Where are you going?" Harry says, his wand straight on me.

I raise an eye at him. "Looking for a spell to get me home, do you mind?"

"Yeah, I do. Sit down," Harry says.

I don't sit right away - taking my sweet time about it. I'm not used to following orders, especially under these sort of circumstances.

"Hermione," Harry says interrupting them. "Have you found anything?"

"Oh, I gave him a few books to look at," Hermione says, nodding to the books on the table in front of me.

Harry turns to the books and picks one up. "Alright, then let's get moving on this."

"Right, of course, Harry," Hermione says giving Ron a small look, and then went to join us at the table.

She sits by Harry, pulling out a parchment and quill.

"Alright," she says to me, dipping her quill into ink. "Go through the spell, one step at a time."

I stare at her. Why did I have to divulge my secrets? This is my brilliance, something I worked so long and hard to earn; I couldn't just unveil it to a mere girl like this Muggle.

"Why don't you just let me figure this out?" I say. "I just need to figure out what flaw there was in my spell, and from there I can work out the kinks."

"Just tell her," Harry says wearily. He looks exhausted, as if he's got this massive burden on him.

I shake my head. "If you really want to help me figure this out then you can find me a spell that will help me evaluate my spell from an objective position."

"There's no such spell," Hermione says. "There's the Prior Incantatus spell, but it only replays the last spell you used, it won't show you the details."

"That we can work with," I say. "Get me the spell information."

Hermione quickly nods and rushes off to go find a book.

"How did you learn to create spells?" Harry asks curiously.

"Practice," I mutter. "I'm not the greatest wizard of my age for nothing."

Harry suddenly freezes, looking at me in as if I've grown extra arms and legs.

"What?" I say, frowning.

"You-you..." Harry trails off for a moment, clearly unable to make a coherent sentence.

"Yes, me?" I say. Harry doesn't say anything, he's still gaping at me so I turn to Ron. "Ron, could you tell me why Harry's looking at me like that?"

"I dunno," Ron says concerned. "Harry, what's up mate?"

"Brilliant," Harry says softly.

"What is?" Ron asks before I can.

"The souls, Ron," Harry says, glancing from me to Ron.

It takes a moment but the realization Harry just had dawns on Ron as well. I still have no clue.

"Do you think?" Ron says. "He'd know?"

"He will," Harry says.

"Will he tell us?"

They're looking at me as if they're hungry lions.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" I ask.

Harry opens his mouth to say something and is interrupted by a loud _pop_ as Malfoy appears in front of the table.

"Potter!" Malfoy says hurriedly.

Harry's face falls in horror. "Malfoy! Get out of here! What are you-"

"We found it," Malfoy said. "Come home, now."

Malfoy disappears from the spot and Harry stares dumbfounded for a moment.

_Found what exactly? A spell to get me home?_

"Ron, tell Hermione to purchase any books she might need, I'll reimburse her," Harry saysquickly. "We have to get home."

Harry takes my arm quickly and we apparate.

I land back at Harry's house in confusion.

_What was going on? And what did I have to tell them?_

Malfoy is standing waiting for us – or Harry more precisely. He has his arms folded across his chest and a smug look on his face.

"I told you I was good, Potter," Malfoy says in tones that make my confusion grow.

"Where?" Harry says, ignoring the tones.

"Mundungus sold it to an old collector, we tracked him down," Malfoy says, keeping his eyes on Harry. Malfoy held up a locket, completely ordinary, mundane – or would have been, if I didn't immediately recognize it.

My heart stopped, everything froze, my eyes narrowed and everything was focused onto this one object.

Did they have any idea what this was...What that locket is to me? What are they going to do with it? And what bleeding desire did they have to have been searching for it?

Harry snatches it from Malfoy, and I watch him eye it carefully.

"Why-" I start to say.

Harry's eyes fly wildly to me, and he holds up the locket as if taunting me.

"Do you know where the other two of these are?" Harry asks.

_Other two? _A moment of fiery fear and nerves. Ginny told me about the diary, how it had been destroyed.

_How did they know about my Horcruxes? How the hell did they know?_

I shake my head as if I have no clue what he's talking about.

"I have no idea," I say.

Harry doesn't believe me, I can tell by the look in his eyes.

"If you want to get home, Tom," Harry says. "Then you're going to tell me what sort of objects your two other Horcrux's resemble."

This is when it hits me – They are trying to destroy me. Destroy me for whatever I had done in this time.

Now, it's my turn to get the answers, I want to know why and how this is happening, and I want to know immediately.


	7. I Am Lord Voldemort

**Chapter Six**

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Throughout my time at Hogwarts, I have always dreamed of doing great things; believed that I would make something of myself, would ensure that everyone knew my name - but never in my wildest dreams had I imagined something like this.

The greatest wizard ever feared, Lord Voldemort. _I am Lord Voldemort, Tom Marvolo Riddle,_ that's me. The cruelest wizard to ever come to be - me. Thousands of people murdered, by me. Hundreds of loyal supporters, all following _me_.

They've left me alone with volumes of books all devoted to me - to me and The-Boy-Who-Lived; that's Harry. The boy _I_ couldn't kill. I cannot shake the feeling that this isn't really happening. And I'm still not sure what to think.

Albus Dumbledore… my thoughts drift to him and how he has been right about me all along. Of course, I know that I'm not completely innocent – I'm vindictive, I've destroyed, and I've murdered… But it was the sort of thing I thought I'd get over – just a phase.

Guess the truth is hitting me pretty hard right now.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. Am I supposed to feel guilty? I don't think I should, but I do. I bloody _do_! I'm Tom Riddle, I don't feel guilt; I've never felt guilty! Whatever I'm feeling right now isn't the real me; it's just because of the way they keep looking at me, the way _she_ looked at me. I nearly killed her. I killed Harry's parents, I've destroyed hundreds of families... again, all me.

I feel sick. Sick for caring and sick of still being here. I'm nothing but a murderer - that's not something to be proud of, is it? Then again, I've been proud of it before. And that was on a much less impressive scale, too!

I'm contradicting myself... Seriously, something is wrong with me! I mean, look at what I've accomplished, all this success! I should be overwhelmingly happy - but I'm not.

I don't really care... No, scratch that; I care that it's _wrong_. But that's not like me, I'm not a moral person.

There's a knock on the door, wrenching me away from my thoughts. I'm in a guest room. The door is locked, the windows barred, and every magical item has been removed.

"Tom?" Harry calls.

"Go away," I hiss at the door and surprisingly, he does.

Nobody knocks on the door again all night. I'm left alone with troublesome questions and thoughts that haunt my brain. I imagine things that I'm supposed to have done as vividly as if I'm living them. If the word 'revolting' comes to mind, I ignore it.

I've _always_ known what to do... but what am I doing now? I have a few options... and I know exactly which I have to pick, but I have to proceed very carefully, for if I mess up, everything will be lost.

I slowly drift off to sleep, my back against a wall and my head in a book.

I awaken to silence, the book still in my hands and my head on my shoulder. I yawn, glancing at my watch, which reads 11:31 AM.

How could I sleep so late? And why did no one wake me?

The day passes in a mammoth amount of words and much confusion. Still no one stops in to speak with me – I had thought that they might, to make sure I hadn't escaped, but maybe they have decided that I need time to think.

I don't want to think anymore, but I end up doing just that for the rest of the evening and late into the next morning. I fall asleep again, in the same book-reading position, and when I awaken at nine, I'm still alone.

I look at the piles of books spread out around me. All sorts of different titles, but all of them are indicating the same thing. All telling me the same thing... That I'm evil.

This thought must have occurred to me sometime between falling asleep and now. But it's so completely clear that I can't get any other thoughts into my head.

I hammer on my door, desperate for company other then myself.

"Harry? Malfoy? Ginny?" I shout. At least I'm not desperate enough to call for the Mudblood.

No answer, nothing at all. The house is completely empty. I've had enough of thinking, had enough of confusing myself about how I'm supposed to feel.

I've never felt this much emotion about anything, and there has to be a reason why I am now. Just as there has to be a reason why I'm here.

It's the spell, it has to be. No, I'm not in denial. I'm not anything because emotions and me don't mix. Just like love and me don't mix... Love...? Oh, bloody fucking hell!

I chuck a book across the room, and it smashes into the wall. I stand angrily and kick a stack of books. Aggression, aggression, suppression.

Three hours of blind fury and shutting out any thought that creeps into my mind follow. I'm not going to succumb to this insanity.

A thought clicks in my brain... Albus Dumbledore...

_Knock, Knock._

"Riddle?" It's that redhead, Ron.

"Tom?" That's Hermione.

The door opens slowly, revealing the two of them holding hands – it makes me sick.

"How are you doing?" Hermione asks.

Distaste fills my face, and I give her the dirtiest look I can muster.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't speak to me, Mudblood," I sneer.

The more anger I express, the more I feel like myself.

Hermione's expression falters, and Ron turns bright red, yanking out his wand in anger.

"How dare you!" Ron shouts at me.

Hermione stops him with a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry about it, Ron," she insists.

I roll my eyes; no doubt she's used to being called a Mudblood.

I have a sudden flash of inspiration.

"Well, how do you think I'm doing?" I ask. "Voldemort… is I." I maintain eye contact with Ron, though I avoid Hermione's gaze.

Ron flinches as I say my name.

"I've done awful things..." I say – and now, I make eye contact with Hermione. "Honestly, Mudblood, how do you think I'm doing?"

Hermione calms Ron again, and turns to me.

"You actually care about what you've done?" she asks, her eyes hopeful but unbelieving.

"Yeah, I care." Whether I'm lying or not doesn't matter, I decide. I have to get out of this place. They're clearly not going to help me out of here; they just want to use me to destroy myself.

Well, I'm not going to put up with that - I'm going to go home, and then I'm going to forget that this ever happened... Okay, so it's a stupid plan, but it's the best I have.

I bend down to scoop up a book, as casually as possible. I continue to pick up books, gathering them in my arms, making my way discretely to the door.

Hermione watches me for a while. "Do you want me to take those?" she asks.

"Sure," I say, moving behind her to pick up a book lying by the door. I have to do this slowly; after all, they have wands and I don't.

Hermione turns around to face me and takes a few books from my stack; I give the rest to Ron.

"Wait," I say. "Is there that_ Dark History _book somewhere in there?"

Hermione and Ron glance down at the titles, and I slip out through the open door, shutting it swiftly behind me. I decide that staying calm would be pointless at this stage, especially because, behind me, I can hear Hermione frantically struggling with the door.

I lunge for the front door, and come face-to-face with Harry and Ginny talking in the doorway.

I slow as Harry quickly pulls out his wand and Hermione and Ron rush up behind me.

_I'm screwed. _

"Locomotor Mortis!" Hermione shouts.

My legs freeze and I fall to the floor face first – _smack,_ my face hits the tile.

"What do you think you're doing?" Harry asks.

It's not a real question, but that doesn't stop me from answering it. "I'm going home – to my own time."

"And how do you expect you're going to manage that?" Hermione asks, flustered.

I shut my mouth.

"Harry, can we talk about this later?" Ginny returns to the conversation they were having before I interrupted.

"Sure," Harry says distractedly, staring down at the back of my head.

I would have pummeled him for using that tone with her if I had been able.

Hermione removes the spell at Harry's command, and I stand. Ginny is already leaving the room; I watch her go.

"Leave her alone," Harry hisses in warning.

_Or what? _

Harry keeps both his wand and an eye trained on me as he turns to Ron.

"Have you seen Malfoy?"

"Yeah, he's in your kitchen stuffing his face," Ron mutters, sounding annoyed.

"Come on," Harry says to me.

I follow him into the kitchen; after all, I don't have much choice.

Malfoy looks up from the ham sandwich he's eating as we enter - he notices Harry first.

"Malfoy, what are you doing?" Harry asks.

He gives him a look – and, dare I say, it is a very risqué look... I turn to see Harry's reaction and he's glaring at him.

"Riddle tried to run out of here," Harry says, and Malfoy's eyes flutter towards me. The look quickly fades.

Have I missed something between these two over the past few days?

"I have to talk to Ginny," Harry says. "Watch him or stick him back in his room, but don't let him escape, okay, Malfoy?"

"Right, Potter," Malfoy says with a sneer, looking at me closely. "Go make up with your little girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend anymore," Harry mutters and then disappears from the room.

I freeze, and anger washes over me: Harry Potter could not have dated Ginny! She was so much better then him!

"Jealous?" Malfoy growls at me.

I snap my head up, and realize that my expression must have given it away.

"Same to you," I counter.

Malfoy does a double take and blinks a few times. "Me, jealous of Potter? I don't want that disgusting-"

"Watch it." I narrow my eyes – how dare he insult Ginny? I continue, "But I wasn't talking about Harry."

Malfoy raises an eyebrow and looks at me as if I'm mad.

He starts to retort, "I do not-"

"-I'm sure," I say. "So, why does he hate you?"

Malfoy pauses. "We've been rivals since the day we met. Plus, my father supports you."

"And you don't?" I ask.

"I never really have, no," Malfoy says. "Not that it's any of your business."

I nod; I guess it might not be.

I look at Malfoy and see all that he's been through - I search through his mind. My gift; I'm a master at Legilimency.

I can see the terror his father has put him through, the pain and torture he's had to endure... all in order to impress me.

"What are you doing?" Malfoy asks.

As I leave his mind, I know I should feel bad. This boy has suffered because of me.

"Nothing," I say.

"So, are you regretting everything you've done, yet?" Malfoy hisses at me. "I can see it in your face. You feel bad for me."

"So?" I say.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Malfoy asks, crossing his arms; there's a slightly mocking tone to his voice. "Ginny's on Voldemorts list - the other you knows that Harry cares about her. Are you really going to let yourself harm the one you love?"

And there's that word again. But this is still a very good question. What am I going to do? Could I really do what they wanted me to? Could I really help them stop my reign of terror?


	8. Sabotaged

**Author's Message: **I am TERRIBLY SORRY for not posting earlier, I just couldn't figure out where I was going with the story, but then an idea struck me so here it is. Again, I'm so sorry for taking so long. I hope you enjoy.

**Chapter Seven**

"Tell Potter what you just told me," Malfoy says, pushing me into Ginny's room.

"What are you doing, Malfoy?" Harry asks.

Ginny is staring at me, her cold eyes burning into mine.

"He has something to tell you," Malfoy says.

I could tell him I just figured out how I got here. I could tell him if Dumbledore wasn't already dead I'd kill him. But what I'm supposed to say is that I am willing to help destroy myself.

I'm doing it for Ginny. I'm doing it for myself, because I know what I've done is wrong - and I know if this has anything to do with Dumbledore then I know exactly what he is up to.

I found out that it was Albus Dumbledore who put me in this right after Malfoy asked me if I would let Ginny die to save myself. Who else would come up with such a chillingly cunning plan? It's now so bloody obvious to me that I can't believe I missed it before.

Dumbledore saw me right before I did my spell. He saw me always, always watching me. That look in his eye before I disappeared on Halloween night, he knew what I had planned, and he sabotaged everything. He ruined everything.

This is Dumbledore's screwed up plan to make me feel. He thinks he knows how to make me crack. And I hate him for being right, and I hate him for making me weak. I'm going to do what I have to, to get out of here, and then I'm going to teach that bloody bastard a lesson.

He's going to regret everything he's done to me. For making me regret my future, for making me care about someone.

I'm not just doing this for myself anymore, I'm doing this for revenge.

"Hello? Tom?" Harry screams in my face.

I punch him.

_Serves him right…Getting in my face. _

"Oh, I didn't mean to do that," I say.

"What was that for?" Harry yells at me. His nose is bleeding.

Ginny is watching him, whipping out her wand to heal him. And Malfoy hesitates to rush to his side.

"Here, let me help you," she says and mutters a charm that instantly heals him. She's so talented. Fuck! I hate her to! I hate her, and I want her. "Why did you do that?"

"Sorry, I forgot where I was," I say.

"You normally punch people in the face?" Malfoy asks, amused. "Nice shot."

"Shut it," Harry groans.

"I thought you were someone else," I say. I thought he was Dumbledore, or more wished he was.

"Just bloody tell him already," Malfoy says.

"Right. I want to help you find the Horcruxes," I say.

Ginny and Harry's faces fall and they look at me like I'm mad. Maybe I am.

"Why?" Ginny asks.

_To get home. To save you._

"I need to stop what I've done," I say.

They exchange glances and Draco shrugs at them. "He wants to protect _her_," he says.

My eyes flash to him, sending him a death look. She doesn't need to know why I'm doing anything, neither of them do.

"Protect me?" Ginny says under her breath.

"That's right Weaselette," Malfoy says. He looks at Harry as if he's being possessive, and I realize now why he wanted me to help them.

We're all in this for something, and Malfoy wants Harry. Harry wants Ginny, and so do I. I'm going to get Ginny, and now I'm all for helping Malfoy get anything he wants, because that means I can get what I want.

Funny how the world works just so.

Funny how ironic everything can always be.

"Are you serious?" Harry asks.

"I'm very serious. I want to correct my wrongs," I say. _I want to squash my evil doings; I want to revive my humanity. _Each line sounds just as ridiculous as the next, but he buys it.

"Very well," he says. "Then let's get to the kitchen, and you can start to explain to me what the remaining Horcruxes are."

I nod, I smile, I gaze at Ginny who's watching me with a new expression. A look of hope.

---

After explaining to them about the two remaining items. Explaining about my obsession with Snakes and the Founder's, they now they are about to know exactly where my two remaining souls are.

"Nagini?" Malfoy asks. "That snake he always has with him?"

Nagini, my snake almost had been one.

"No, it's a serpent pendant, the one I put into a girls grave following her death. For it was the last thing she ever saw after all, the eyes of a snake."

"Moaning Myrtle," Harry says.

"You know her?" I ask.

"I know her," Harry nods.

"That's awful," Ginny whispers. "That poor girl is haunted in her grave by the thing that killed her. You're a monster."

_So I'm starting to figure out._

But still her words are like a whip lash to my heart.

I tell them about the Ravenclaw trophy given to Rowena herself for best teacher in service given during her first twenty years at the school.

"I should send Ron and Hermione to get the one at the school," Harry says.

"What about the other?" Ginny asks.

"And Voldemort himself," Malfoy says. "You can't just disregard his threat.

Harry pauses, thinking hard. "I know...I have to contact him immediately, but I can't do that if the Horcruxes haven't been destroyed."

"Threat?" I ask.

"You, I mean, yourself in this time has declared that if do not confront him by the end of this month he will take over and destroy half of England."

"It is almost the end of the month, Harry," Ginny says. "What are you going to do?"

"I have to contact him, and face him," Harry says. "Do you know where Myrtle's grave is?"

"Yes," I say. "I can take you there."

"No," he says. "Not me. I need you to go with-"

"-I'll go, Harry," Ginny interrupted.

"No! I'm not going to put you in that kind of danger!"

"Oh, please. I'm always in danger, just let me help."

He pauses looking for a way around it, he fails to find one. "Well, you'll have to go with Lupin also," Harry says.

"He can come, that's fine," she says. "I just want to find out why he's changed."

He watches her for a moment, worry in his eyes. And I've never been more excited, even though I'm going to go ruin myself. I've got a twisted sense of fun.

"Fine," Harry mumbles. "And you better not touch, hurt, or harm her in anyway!"

"I won't," I say.

"What are you going to be doing, Malfoy?" Harry asks.

"I'm coming with you," Malfoy says almost too quickly that it catches Ginny's attention. "I mean, Voldemort wants to see me also. Maybe we can come up with something."

"Right," Harry says. "Now that we have everything settled, we rest today, and tomorrow we head out."

I want to be left alone with Ginny, and I can tell by how's she shooting funny glances at me that she wants to talk to me as well.

"Let's finish our conversation later, Harry," Ginny says. "Or you know, we can forget it altogether."

"I...alright," he says. "Come on, Tom, we're going to lock you back up."

"I already said I'm going to help you, what else do you want from me?" I ask.

"You already tried to escape once today," Harry growls at me.

"I think it's okay, Harry," Ginny says.

I look at her surprised. _What did she just say?_

"What?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, what Weaselette?" Malfoy asks. "Are you bloody mental?"

"I'm no such thing, Malfoy," Ginny snaps. "I just think it's okay. And I would like to talk to him if you don't mind."

Malfoy and Harry exchange quick looks.

"Right," Harry says, averting his gaze from Malfoy. "Bring him back out here when you're done talking, and don't let him out of your site for a moment."

"Got it," Ginny says.

Harry and Malfoy leave the kitchen, and Harry gives her one last look before he goes out the door. I follow Ginny to her room.

"You trust me?" I ask, hoping.

"I don't want to talk about that yet," she says. She shuts her door then sits on her bed and conjures a seat for me in front of her. "Sit."

I do. I'd do anything she asks with how she's looking right now. She's wearing a really tight shirt that cuts low in the front. Her trousers are straight cut and black, and I can't tare my eyes off of her.

"Why are you agreeing to this?" she asks. "The Tom I know wouldn't do this."

"The Tom you know has grown up," I say. "I know when I'm in the wrong now. I can't let my future self destroy you."

"Why?"

_Because I love you._

"Because," I say. "You're too strong, too talented and way too pretty to be destroyed like that."

"Pretty?" she whispers in a hoarse breath. "I don't understand you."

"That goes for both of us."

"Do you really think you're doing something wrong?"

"I guess," I say. "It doesn't exactly elicit fuzzy happy feelings."

Ginny nods, but doesn't say anything more. I want to read her mind. I want to taste her mouth on mine. I want to feel her underneath me. She squirms uncomfortably at my hungry glances, but she doesn't realize how much I want her.

I start to stand, and that's when she says, "I fell for you, you know. When I wrote to you during my first year. I loved you and I hated you. And in the end it turned out that you were just using me. And I hated you, and I've hated you ever since. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but your eyes keep expressing the sort of feelings I had for you then. But those feelings aren't here now, and they never will be again. I don't want you."

"He doesn't want you either," I say, now fully standing my shadow falling partially on her.

"Who?" she asks.

"Harry," I say. "He doesn't want you like I want you."

_I think I just bloody told her!_

"He wants someone else, he just doesn't understand it yet. Just like you don't understand that you want me, but you will."

"I think maybe you should leave my room now," Ginny says, standing.

"Do you think that?" I say.

I watch her give a tiny shudder of fear. I look her in the eyes, and I move near. She stands perfectly still as if she's too busy trying to concentrate on not fearing me.

I move a hand through her red hair and run it along her chin. Before she can swat me away, I place my lips on hers, fierce and quick. She tastes of cherries, she smells like jasmine.

_Oh so wonderful._

I move away and leave out the door, and she's still standing in the exact same place, her eyes now wide with astonishment. I will get her to want me again.

---

**A/N:**

Well, here we have it. Another chapter will be arriving shortly. This story only has a few more chapters, and now I know where I'm going with it. Please R&R, tell me what you think of the chapter. Again I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long.


	9. Not a Humanitarian

**Author's Message:**

Enjoy and Happy Halloween, Samhain or anything else you can celebrate on this night.

**Chapter Eight**

My brain is screaming at me. It's been a day since I've kissed her, and my brain is acting up more than ever. It's asking me all these questions...well, more precisely, I'm asking myself all these questions, and I hear myself answer too...Maybe it's settled, I have indeed gone mad.

**Why did you kiss her?**

_I think I like her…No, I know I like her and I want her._

**You don't make sense. You don't want her. You want out of here is what you want. She even told you so - it doesn't make sense for you liking her now.**

_Told me what? That doesn't make sense._

**She told you that you were using her before; you didn't actually fall for her.**

_Maybe I did, maybe I just found my other needs more important._

**Oh really? Could you do that now? Destroy her if it meant going back to your time?**

_I...I don't know!_

**As I said, you don't make any sense.**

_Well, maybe I do have ulterior plans._

**As I thought.**

_I just don't know how to grasp my mind around them yet._

**And neither can I.**

"Riddle?" Lupin snaps me out of my insanity.

"Huh?" I say.

We're traveling in a car, me in back next to shovels and picks, and Ginny and Lupin in the front. I couldn't give them exact directions (partly because I couldn't remember, and mostly because I wanted to drag out my time with Ginny), so we are forced to drive to the cemetery spot.

It is in a very unusual place, and not in an actually cemetery, because Myrtle had wished it. It was a spot in which she had grown up in, and very remote.

"Left or right?" he asks

"Right," I say.

He turns the car right.

"How much longer?" Ginny asks, turning town the radio which had been blasting moments before. For being so intelligent, she has _ghastly _taste in music.

"I'm not quite sure," I say. "Should be only a few more hours if I remember correctly."

"Okay." She turns the music back up, and we drive along.

---

Turns out, I had not remembered correctly. It was dark, car running low of gas, and all of us tuckered out from screaming as we got more and more lost.

"Pull over," Ginny orders. "We'll stay at a hotel till morning."

"Hotel?" I ask, surprised at her suggestion. I would have thought she'd want to keep going till we found it.

"Well, I'm certainly _not_ sleeping in the car," she mutters.

Lupin agrees and pulls the car up into a half-empty parking lot. We get out of the car, leaving the shovels and digging supplies locked inside.

Our 'chaperone' as I have dubbed him, goes to check us in as Ginny volunteers us to pick up snacks at a market. It's the first moment we've had alone since I kissed her, and I can tell she wanted this moment to talk to me.

"You've got a lot of nerve," she hisses.

I want to say, 'Well, yeah, I am Tom Riddle.' But instead I stay silent, allowing her to continue.

"Kissing me? After everything you've done to me!" Ginny rants. "I don't think you quite realize the enormity of what you have done." She stops walking and turns to me. "So, I'm going to explain it to you, so you can understand."

Her face is reddened in anger, and she narrows her eyes. I wait for her to continue and explain what I am so curious to know about.

"You were the first real friend I ever had, diary or not," she starts. "I poured my soul out to you, and you pretended to care."

**There's that 'pretend' again.**

_I know._

**Maybe she can explain it for you, make you understand that you're using her.**

_Maybe. But I don't think-_

"You made me attack students! I didn't realize it was you causing me to do it at first, and when I confronted you, blood on my hands as I wrote, you comforted me. Told me it was going to be fine. You wouldn't let me stop, no matter how much I begged, and I was attached to you. I couldn't let you go."

I stop thinking to listen intently.

"And through all of this, that's not even the worst part," she says, eyes away from mine. "What haunts me the most is the night of our last meeting. _You_ yourself, a ghost at the time, lured me down into the Chamber of Secrets. It's where you told me you loved me, that I had done so well, and that soon everything would be over."

I watch her take a shaky breath before continuing again. "As I was nearing death, that's when you told me how you really felt. You told me I was _weak_, that I was a pathetic foolish girl. That I deserved death for allowing myself to be controlled."

_That's it._

**Well, you got me on that one.**

I understand perfectly why I have fallen for her now. It's not because of a lot of things, it's just one thing mostly.

"Ever since I survived that day in the Chamber I have sought only one thing," she says, looking me in the eye now. "To be strong."

_It's her strength. Her strength that wasn't there before._

**Well, what are you going to do now? You know she hates you.**

"I," I say. "I'm sorry, Ginny. For everything."

But the thing is, I don't mean it. For if I had not done all of that to her with my Diary, then this Ginny, this confident girl, would not be talking to me right now.

"I know that doesn't really fix what I did, but all I can say is sorry," I say. Lies, lies. I'm such a bloody liar, but it's almost the most thrilling thing to do most of the time. Wouldn't give it up for the truth. "I hope you can forgive me."

That happens to not be a lie.

**You know you're going to be going back to your time.**

She looks away and starts walking again. "I don't think I can."

**And you know she's not going to come with you. **

_I could ask her._

**And when she says no?**

I know exactly what I'll do if she says no. It just makes my heart ache to think about. Leaving her behind will not be easy.

---

There's two beds and an unfolded couch. Guess what I get stuck with? I try to kick Lupin out of the bed, but Ginny gives me a look that clearly says 'you-better-not-or-else', and normally I wouldn't give a damn what look she was giving to me, but I wanted her to trust me.

I unfold the couch and get out an extra pillow and scratchy yellow blanket from the closet. I don't even want to imagine what's on these things. I even have my doubts on if they've been washed.

Our exhaustion has faded away; it must have just been traveling anxiety.

Lupin is in the bathroom taking a shower. Ginny and I are alone to amuse ourselves.

There is a Muggle contraption called a television in our room, and Ginny immediately flops to her bed face first, remote in hand to turn it on.

"How do you know what _that _is?" I ask. I shudder at how I'm connected to it. Someday I shall be rid of these thoughts forever.

"My father is a _huge_ lover of Muggle things," she says, flipping a channel. "He has one at home, but mum only lets him watch it on special occasions, mostly only the Muggle news." She sets down the controller then turns to see the look on my face. "Not fond of the telly?"

"Hardly," I say detestably.

She shuts the T.V. off and rolls onto her back, staring at the ceiling. She gets lost in thought for a moment.

"You said that Harry liked someone else," she says, breaking the silence. "Who?"

I smile to myself, and suppress a yawn. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Who?" Ginny sits up. "Hermione? Because she says that they don't have a thing, but they're really good friends and-"

"-Not her," I say, a smile on my face as she rants.

"Then who?" she asks. "He isn't around anyone else, except for Tonks and Fleur, but there's no chance of that, is there?"

I laugh again. "Nope, no chance of that." I don't even have to know these women to know. "You really want to know Ginny? You're not going to like it. And you're probably not going to believe it."

"Who?" she repeats, eyes watching me careful.

"Malfoy," I say. "He loves Malfoy."

She stares at me, eyes unblinking, face unchanging.

"Huh?" she finally says. She sits up and swings her legs over the bed. "Are you mad? Harry doesn't like Draco Malfoy. They _hate _each other. They've been enemies since they first met."

"Things change," I say.

_Clearly they do._

"No," she says shaking her head. She has the worst case of denial.

We hear the water turn off in the bathroom and Lupin stepping out.

"Things don't, and neither do people," she says. This statement is directed at me.

"You're wrong," I mutter. "Look at yourself, and how much you've changed."

"How would you know? You've just met me," she hisses.

"I know what you told me, and I can see it in your eyes," I say.

"Merlin!" she groans, then falls silent.

"What?" I say, getting up.

"Stay away from me," she hisses.

"You're beginning to act like a fool again," I spat at her. I watch her face contort in anger and pain. I've lashed at her with the worst weapon possible, words that remind her of everything I've done to her.

"Leave me the hell alone, don't talk to me again," she says.

I fold my arms across my chest, but lean down against the arm of the couch. Her eyes narrow at me then fly away. We both jump as the bathroom door opens.

"Ginny, everything alright?" he asks, coming out fully dressed.

"Fine," she says gruffly, and then gets back on her bed, crawling under the covers.

I glance at Lupin who is looking at me apprehensively and I stare blankly back. He looks away, shaking his head, and goes to his bed. I get into my bed, and lay on my back staring at the ceiling.

**Well, if you really want her, that's not the way to get her.**

_I know that. She just pissed me off. I don't think she's ever going to warm up to me._

**Then you know what you have to do then...**

_If she doesn't warm up, I guess I do know..._

**Good. Because I think it's for the best.**

**---**

I wake up the next morning to the bright sun from the gap in the curtains shinning on my face. I can tell Ginny is already up because her bed is empty, but I can't see her anywhere. Lupin is still fast asleep.

I know that I have to take care of my horcruxes, I cannot stand it to be rid of them. They haunt me here. It's just weird to imagine me killing myself. But I guess in this time it's just something I have to do to get back home.

I realize this is what Dumbledore is after. He wants me to discover my humanity and take things into my own hands. And oh, I will. I will take whatever I have to to get my way.

Checking the bathroom I find Ginny's not in there either. She must have gone down to get free breakfast in the lobby area. I leave out of the hotel door without a second thought on what I'm doing. I take the stairs, avoiding the elevator. I have a suspicion that it will break down while I'm in it, and without my wand I don't want to take that risk.

I find Ginny sitting at a table, eating a Danish and an apple. Sitting opposite of her, she looks up at me and rolls her eyes.

"I thought I said-"

"I wasn't talking to you," I say.

_Stop being so damn sarcastic! _

**You are sarcastic, it's who you are. And stop being that humanitarian Dumbledore wants you to be. You don't have to worry about _feeling_ anything until you have to face yourself.**

_Harry will probably be doing that part._

**Not if you take matters into your own hands, that will be your fight. You already decided what to do; you don't have to worry about Ginny anymore.**

_Maybe I don't want to do things like that..._

**Or maybe-**

"Hello? Answer me!" Ginny waves her hand in my face.

"Answer what?"

"Do you want to buy a more recent map to the site?" she asks.

"Sure," I say.

"Okay, well, tell Lupin I'll be up in a few with the map, and then we can leave."

I nod, and she leaves. Then I go upstairs and choose to ignore her orders, and I let Lupin wander back downstairs to search for Ginny.

---

Back on the road Ginny is still grumbling at me for letting Lupin look for me for a half hour.

"I forgot," I mutter.

"You bloody well didn't," she says. "I told you just a moment before you went upstairs."

"Hmm," I say, shrugging. "Oh well. Keep going straight," I tell Lupin as I gaze at the map.

We travel for a few hours, and finally just as our stomachs start to growl in hunger, we arrive at the spot. It is in the court yard of a little country house. There are three graves altogether; they belong to her and her grandparents.

We get out of the car and bring our shovels.

We begin to dig, the sun beating down on our backs.

"This is awfully morbid," Ginny says as she pours more dirt from her shovel.

Lupin mutters his agreement. We dig so that we can easily get in and out of the grave. We finally hit coffin and he goes to lift the lid.

Ginny holds her nose, and all three of us grimace at the sight of rotting bones. Around the skeleton's neck is the Horcrux we're looking for. I yank it off, and pocket it.

When we crawl out of the grave, Lupin fills it again with his wand. He hadn't used magic while we were digging just in case something accidentally happened the coffin.

"Let's get this back to Grimmauld Place," Lupin says. "We'll leave the car for someone to pick up."

We nod and Lupin Disapparates. Ginny takes out her wand to Apparate, then looks at me, then at the spot where Lupin just had been. He forgot I cannot Apparate without a wand.

Ginny mumbles something incoherent and takes me arm. "Come on," she says.

---

We arrive at a very busy house. There are tons of unfamiliar people running around and appearing and disappearing. I see Harry and Draco talking to Lupin, they spot us and Harry holds out his hand.

"You have the Horcrux?" he asks.

I nod and uncover it from my pocket. "Did you get the other?"

"Ron just got it to me," Harry says taking it from me. "We're about to go to war...I think you may need this." He holds out my wand, and I look at it.

"Right," I say, taking it.

"Hermione is working on a way to get you home," he says. "She's working with the best time traveler in the business. If you survive this, then you'll be able to go back home."

"I need to speak with her," I say. She doesn't know about what Dumbledore has done.

"Right, Ginny, take him to Hermione in the library," Harry says, and then he whispers something so only I can hear him. "Make sure Hermione gets her to stay in there, and then come back. How long will it take?"

I frown; he doesn't want her to go to the battle. "About...A while, I have to explain something I just figured out."

"Fine," his voice rises again. "Then I'll be back in fifteen minutes after we sort a few things out with some Order members, be ready by then."

Ginny leads me to another room. The house is emptying as we go. We enter a room where Hermione and some woman with blonde hair are working. They look up.

"Hello?" the woman mutters, clearly annoyed at her work being interrupted.

"Margaret, this is Tom Riddle, and Ginny Weasley. Tom is the one we're doing this spell for," Hermione says, not really looking at me.

"I need to tell you something I figured out," I say.

The three listen carefully as I explain about my suspicions of Dumbledore's antics. How I tell them I don't believe I'll be able to step through a portal unless I do the impossible.

"That helps, actually," Hermione says when I'm finished. "That helps _a lot_ actually."

She quickly stands and retrieves a book from a shelf.

"Right then," I say. It only took me a few minutes to explain it to them. I glance at Ginny.

"I'm not staying here," Ginny says roughly. "I know Harry told you to leave me, but I'm not going to."

I raise an eye.

"I deserve to be in this as much as anyone else, I want to fight for our freedom," she continues.

"Alright," I say. She stares at me in surprise.

"Alright?"

I shrug. "It's your own right," I say.

She nods slowly, and then follows me out. I find the open door to my guest room, and I push her into the room.

**She's never going to forgive you now.**

_She doesn't have to..._

"Hey," she says, trying to get out the door. I enter. "I told you, I'm not stayi-" she stops and narrows her eyes at me as I close the door behind myself, her face is bright in confusion and fear. "What are you doing?"

**A/N:**

Please R&R.

Warning, next chapter may have a higher rating due to some themes, but I haven't written it so I'm not quite sure how it will come out. Hope you enjoyed.


	10. No Regrets

**WARNING: **This chapter may or may not be pushing the T rating. (I'm not really good with ratings, so I'm not 100 sure.) But it deals with a theme that I don't want to give away up here. So just be cautious when you read I guess...

**Chapter Nine**

I don't answer her wide-eyed questioning of my actions. Instead, I move towards her, slowly at first.

"Ginny," I say. "I don't want you to be harmed. By me or anyone else."

She's slowly backing up, backing herself up right into a wall. She hits the wall and her face falls even more petrified.

"Riddle..." she says, using my last name without effect. "Please, just go then. I'll stay."

I curl my lip up. "What if I don't want to leave you?"

"Please," she whispers.

I'm very close to her, I can smell her shampooed hair and light jasmine perfume. I run a hand through her hair as she closes her eyes.

"Don't," she says, opening them again.

"Or what little Ginny?" I asked. I bring my lips down to kiss her.

"Don't," she tries to push me away, and I grab her protesting hands in mine.

"I know you want me," I say.

"You're sick!" she hisses, fighting harder against me.

"Stop," I tell her, holding her more still. She closes her eyes, looking away from me. "Open your eyes!" I demand of her. "Now! And look at me. Tell me you don't want me."

She turned to me, he eyes open. "I. Don't. Want. You," she says with venom.

I push her to the bed and she falls upon it in a whimper.

"Liar," I screech at her. I know the way she felt and still feels about me.

"Get off."

But really, I can't stop. I want her too bad. So badly that everything becomes mute and I only know what I want. I want her so completely that I'm willing to take it by force. Her struggling becomes almost nonexistent to me.

I know what I'm doing is so beyond evil and abusive. I know that if I considered myself evil in this world before, that I wouldn't even recognize my feelings in the wake of the new ones that would spring. But at this moment, I couldn't care.

I pull up her shirt, feeling her warm skin against my hands. I kiss her neck fiercely as I remove articles of clothing. Everything is violent and persistent and I can't really comprehend what I'm doing.

_Except that I will have this._

She's naked, lying beneath me, and there is a steady stream of tears coming down her face when I finally am coherent. I'm naked too, except for a sock, which I didn't manage to get off. Her cries are now in reality mute she's been crying so hard.

I look at her, and for some reason, I'm disgusted. Her weakness, it's all right there for me to see. I get off her and quickly put on my shirt. I see her curling herself up, weeping.

"Serves you right," I say. I blink once, as if almost concerned at what I just told her, then I shake it from me. I somehow feel more like myself then I have in ages. "You brought it upon yourself."

I zip my pants and slip on my shoes, leaving the room in silence.

I find myself facing Harry who is coming down the hallway.

"Tom?" he asks. "You ready to go?"

"Yes," I say, shutting the door behind me before he can hear her sobs.

"Did you get Ginny to stay?" he asks.

"Of course, Harry," I say. "I have my ways."

"Good," he says. "I couldn't think of anyway to get her to stay, she's so stubborn. I'm glad you could get through to her."

I almost smirk, if only he knew.

"You ready for what you'll have to do?"

No remorse is the key to everything. It was the key to getting Ginny to stay. And it will be my key to getting home.

"More than ever," I say.

Harry looks at me for a moment, and then takes my shoulder to Apparate us.

---

We land in a field, large and very green for now. I hear footsteps approach and Draco Malfoy comes into view.

"Voldemort will be here with his army soon," Malfoy says.

"Ready your wand," Harry tells us.

We all do, and I see people that work for Harry Apparating around us. The first attack is against us. The Death Eaters arrive, my Death Eaters, and they're shooting curses and jinxes at us from afar.

I fight with Harry and Draco, easily fending off any Death Eater, and none of them recognize me. Though I know at least a few of them served me before I had been deformed.

We make our way to where Voldemort is. I shout a curse to get his attention, and when his eyes land on me, he falters for a moment.

"Interesting," I say.

"Indeed," the other me says in a snake-like tone. "What is this Harry Potter? Come to use me against myself?"

"Or something like that," I say, I rise up my wand, ready for what I have to do. Harry crashes into me, pulling me away.

"This is my fight," Harry shouts.

"Move," the other me shouts at him. He curses Harry away, who goes flying into the distance. Draco runs after him.

The other me ignores this and turns to me. Watching me intrigued.

"You were saying?" he says, eyes laughing.

"I was saying I'm here to destroy you," I say.

He laughs as if I'm mad, so I laugh like he's mad and he stops, hating me for mocking him.

I know he's curious to know if I'm him, so I nod. "I am. Down to the last Mudblood blood cell," I hiss.

"How?" he asks.

"I don't really think that's your concern," I say. "What you should be concerned with is how will your death help you?"

He lowers his wand slowly, and then smirks. "I'm listening."

"Our Horcruxes are destroyed. Your army is about to be diminished, and you are going to be finished in a matter of moments if you let me."

"And why would I let you?"

"Because, I can give us things you never dreamed of. In my time, I will prove us worthy of everything you have accomplished."

What I am ashamed of here is not what I have done per say, but what I have screwed up on. My future self had made so many mistakes that allowed nosey people like Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter to worm their way in.

This was my chance to fix my mistakes. All I had to do was say the right things.

"I will make it so we'll never be destroyed, never again. We'll live forever, and we'll have EVERYTHING that we've always wanted."

He cocks his snake like head, and than smiles. I see in the distance Harry starting to come at us again. I know this has to be done fast.

"Avada Kedavra!"

There's a flash of green light, and my other self falls willing dead.

Harry and Draco reach me just as I finish, and they stare in shock as they look at this time's dead body.

"You did it," they say. "I can't believe you actually did it..."

---

I Apparate back into Harry's house with Draco, Ron and Harry by my side. Hermione is here, and she is setting up a portal.

"Harry? Did we win?" she asks, stopping what she is doing.

"We won," he answers.

"We won," Ron repeats, rushing to her.

It's a sickening display. But seeing Ron only reminds me of Ginny. My love that I hurt again. I rather knew she would hate me by the end of this, just as I would hate myself. But, I took what I needed to get out of here, and that's all I have to keep telling myself. Before I become something I'm not again. This place, I have to get out of soon.

"Is the portal ready?" I ask.

"Yes, in a moment," she says. "Would you like to leave now?"

"Please," I say.

"Thank you for your help," Harry says. "Wow, I can't believe I just said that."

"I told you people can change," Draco hisses at him.

I roll my eyes, understanding his words were aimed to get Harry to notice him

"Anything you want to know or say before you go?" Hermione asks as the Portal starts to open.

_Oh I have a few things to say._

**Destroy their world as they destroyed yours. **I think this as if it is all their fault for everything that has happened to me.

"Sure," I say. I look at Draco, my lips curling. "Get over it, you're a filthy bugger and there's nothing you can do. Just tell him you want him already." I turn to Harry. "He wants you, and you want him. Just move on, she's never going to have sex with you, ever." I turn to Hermione. "By the way...Granger is your name right?" She nods. "The Granger family line is the first to go," I say, and then turn to my love's brother and say, "Ask your sister, was it good for her too?"

Feeling like myself again and knowing that I'd go through everything completely from now on, I step through the portal a smirk across my face. I'm ready to return home.

**A/N:**

Okay, this could very well be the ending, but I have some idea for an Epilogue. So, the question is, does anyone want their to be an epilogue? Let me know, and if the consensus is yes, then I shall write it. Please R&R, tell me what you think of the story.


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